we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize