no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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