doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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