He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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