After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
