Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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