I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
