I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
