U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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