she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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