He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
