Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
