My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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