dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
