As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
