I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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