Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize