Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
