Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

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(714): View more from California

I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.

Fav 11 1796 3872
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(573): View more from Missouri

she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight

Fav 27 6900 1213
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(719): View more from Colorado

just survived the first fart of the relationship.

Fav 15 4386 1160
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(330): View more from Ohio

She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.

Fav 15 4216 2009
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(214): View more from Texas

My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.

Fav 15 2360 1001
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(479): View more from Arkansas

The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.

Fav 4 1989 822
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(518): View more from New York

You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.

Fav 0 531 388
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(801): View more from Utah

He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.

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