we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
