I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
