ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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