I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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