So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
