No subtext here. People are naked.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
