Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
