i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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