What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
