So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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