is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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