Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
