I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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