my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
