There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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