just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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