I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
