haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
