He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
