How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
