You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
