i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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