I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
