The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did I show you my penis last night?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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