I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
