he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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