everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
babies were throwing up all over the place
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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