At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
