he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
