she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
