Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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