If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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