You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Congratulations! We have a period
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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