You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
