i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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