I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want her autograph on my taint
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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