I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
