need another drink. this is the easiest way
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
