My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
