It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
