You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can I color on your dick again?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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